I can't stand being around my little sister, ever. What should I do?

Question

So I posted this question about my sister seven months ago (it might help your answer if you read the first two paragraphs, and the first additional details post):
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnoowIFASE4I9J7.yLmfGefty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20101209185410AAajpQZ

Since then, things have not gotten better. Instead they have gotten worse. My parents apparently give less of a crap about her behavior and the terrible lessons she's learning from Disney channel characters. Now, she's moved on from just watching poor behavior on Disney and Nick shows onto I don't even know what these other shows are called, but they're worse. There are shows featuring constant fighting, cussing, between trashy, spoiled whores and egotistical, self-absorbed, muscular guys. Then she's watching one of the dozen shows on TV about morons got knocked-up and then got a TV show. Then shows where they make fun of people's looks for a living, and promote the ideas of being spoiled and materialistic, as well as being snotty and stupid over polite and intelligent. At this point, I realize that it can't JUST be the shows she watches. Her friends must be influencing her behavior as well, because in just seven months she's gone from being somewhat disrespectful to a major b*tch. And that's the nice way of saying it. Usually when I write my questions, I find the more respectful way of saying something, but I'm done with that now as I am legitimately p*ssed off.

She argues with everything I say, and I mean literally everything. I'm not one of those people who thinks that they're always right, but everything I say to my sister is right and she always argues with everything I say. She's disrespectful of everyone and everything. She never listens to any advice I give her. She refuses help from anyone except her father (my step-father). She is name-calling, ignorant, and extremely selfish and self-absorved. Whenever she's misbehaving and I try to get her to stop, she says "You're not the boss of me." And I'm not, but I don't like getting my parents involved in everything since I feel it shouldn't be hard to deal with a situation myself, and when I do get my parents involved all they say is "Deal with it!" Great parenting, there. They've basically let her develop this princess-mentality and I hate it. I can't stand being around her. It was actually a late last month I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and for those of you who don't know one of the symptoms of that is major irritability. I've tried controlling my anger, but this little sh!!t is not helping. I am starting to have more and more of a hard time trying to control my anger. Whereas, seven months ago she would usually change her attitude, now she'll just get worse. She's driving me up a wall, and I don't want my emotions to get the best of me. Again, I've brought this up with my parents but they're not taking it seriously at all. All they tell her to do is to be nicer, and she says "Okay," but she never is.

I can't stand being around her. I'm sure you've all heard someone say something along the lines of "You don't have to like the people in your family, but you still have to love them." For a long time, I've lived up to that. And so many people in my family are racists and homophobes, I often have a hard time even talking with them. But with my little sister, I can't. I simply can't. She disgusts me with the way she acts, and until she shapes up I will not even consider it. My parents have asked me in the past to take my sister to whatever sport practice she has going on, or to pick her up from the camp thing or whatever it's called from the rec-center, or they will make me take her to some stupid movie I don't want to see, and I've just dealt with it before... But no more. I'm done with her. I simply can't take it anymore.

Does anyone have any advice on:
How to get my sister to shape up and be more respectful?
How to bring this up to my parents without having them redirect the conversation on any of my faults (because they tend to do that EVERY time I bring up my sister)?

Or if there's nothing I can do there...

Just advice on how to better deal with my anger or maybe how to get my parents to take clinical depression more seriously?

Answer 1

I do not have much experience in this sort of thing, but I felt I ought to answer since I empathise with your situation.

Maybe she is trying to hide something? maybe it's the way she is treated. Violence only ends with more violence after all. Try to be kind to her, if she throws i in your face then just ignore it. Show her that she can trust you. Don't just ignore her, when she is not in a particularly bad mood, ask her how she is feeling and if you can help her at all. The best way to find out why she is acting this way is to get close to her.



And with your parents, they clearly are too laid back for their own good. If you have someone you are very close to you should open yourself up to them. and ask for support. With the depression, Go for long walks in the cool night air, that always cheers me up. you could also get a stress ball, or play a relaxing game or relaxing music. Failing that, channel your aggression into a punch bag or something.



Good luck!

Answer 2

It seems like you are in a very tough situation, and I'm really sorry about that. But, I am a little sister of my oldest brother, who also suffered from clinical depression. Actually, there was one point in my life where I was going almost the EXACT same situation, only I was the annoying little sister. I was so upset to come home from school, knowing that I had to completely change my behavior and turn into this little brat because my brother just seemed to treat me like ****. My mother began to realize what was going on (she is a psychiatric nurse), and she said that it is frequent for the older sibling to take out their anger on their younger sibling in a form of confusion, or wanting to feel that someone will love you no matter how you act. And I, too was being a little bratty girl, just because I was unhappy, and because there was no ro-model to show me how I SHOULD act, with a torn relationship with my brother. My brother took depression medication, and I got busy with schoolwork and after school clubs, and soon we argued less, and now we fight every so often, but the arguments never last, and we learn to enjoy each other's company more frequently.

Answer 3

In all honesty, and no offense here, it's not your place to get your sister to "shape up and be more respectful" to you.



A lot of young girls, sadly, are like her. She's just got some growing up to do. Have you ever thought maybe half the problem is you? Maybe you need to be more patient and tolerant with her. Stop criticizing her so much. Ignore her.



I just realized how harsh this sounded and I apologize. Ask your parents to take you to therapy. Or google some online tips. There's help for you out there, just seek it. Good luck. :)







Edit: *sigh* I was just saying that there's two sides to every story. She might be a brat, but you might be too quick-tempered with her. I didn't say that her behavior is okay, I just said it was common. As in, she's not an anomaly. Sure, her behavior sucks, but really, there's nothing you can do unless you want to call dss and tell them that your parents are unfit to raise a child. Your situation is unfortunate, but it's honestly just something you've got to deal with until you turn 18 and get a place of your own. Then you wont have to deal with her anymore.

Answer 4

I agree my sister is the exact same way.