I have no confidence/ competence, what do I do?

Question

I am 19 and I am horrible at talking to people, I used to be alright when I was younger like in 8th grade or so but I just stopped advancing I guess and now I just cannot make conversation! it is killing me inside I hate it I MUST fix this problem. Though my enthusiasm to fix this problem is strong it is sort of in the way because when I am in social situations I freeze. I get taken over with anxiety and I cannot perform. I draw blanks on things to say, I feel like I will mess up and say something stupid and people will judge me. I think myself to be smart and I am told I am by people but I really just feel incompetent with myself. The thing is that if you want to talk about music or movies with me or video games I can expand on the conversation and really have good things to say. Other than that I really just never say much anymore. It really is making me depressed and I need help.

I am not that great at talking and forming good interesting sentences so I feel like I bore people or they just don't want to listen to me. I have started to read a bit more because growing up I never read anything more than what I was required to read in school. The only reason it seems like I am fine at talking right now is because I am typing on a computer it is much easier for the words to just come out, I can also go back and edit what I say. In real life there is no edit button, I cannot pause and if I say something rude/stupid/conceited or anything negative it is pretty much permanent.

I am really worried about loosing out on having relationships with people in the future if I don't figure all this out...any advice??>

Answer 1

Well lets see. My first advice is to talk to girls because if u can talk to girls, then u can talk to pretty much any1. Go to artofseduction.com and look at the page that says how to talk to girls. This site is to help guys hook up with girls and talk to girls and attract girls. He has an email thing and he sends u advice every week or so. and for the no confidence is advice purely from me.



A friend of mine old me that if u wanted something to happen then u have to do something about it!

if u want to be more confident. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!

You have to take that action step if you want to do anything.

Another thing is that you have to know that out of the BILLIONS of ppl in the world you ARE NOT THE WORST! Just think of it. you think you suck at social things? i guaranty that there is some1 out there that is worse. Anything u do, some1 does it worse. And yet the same thing is that no one is the best. Maybe michael phelps isnt the best swimmer in the world. chances r, there is some1 out there who doesnt live in the city and maybe lives in a country of poverty that can swim better!

Just remember every1 has the power to do anything. You just have to know wat u want to use that power to do. You are better than ur best friend at something and the ONE thing that every1 is good at is BEING THEMSELVES.

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

self belief first and maximum applicable, Competence is smart and might develop a low ego and instill self-properly worth in a individual yet over competence isnt sturdy and might make you look imperious. self belief is one among lifes maximum mandatory self skills even although over self belief can deliver approximately blunders and you could make your self look silly. stability is the main important, continually attempt for stability

Answer 3

first of all, let go of your past. secondly, make it a point to talk to three strangers daily. all you need is practice in conversation. be interested in what they have to say. don't be so hard on yourself. communication is tough. good luck man.